To Find Love
by CreativityMichaelson
Summary: No one really knows what happened to Merle Dixon. No one knew about the girl that saved him or his brother. Merle Dixon/OC and Daryl Dixon. It's Merle Dixon. That's the warning for this story that means lots of sex, violence, racial and sexist slurs everyone.
1. What the

**A/N:_ Hello everyone, my name is Creativity Michaelson. This is my very first story posting on Fanfiction, but not my first story in general. As you know this is a story about Merle and an OC that I thought of one night unable to fall asleep. I wondered why he never had a love interest and why his character development solely revolved around his brother. Don't get me wrong, I loved what the writers for _The Walking Dead _did for Merle's character. However I wondered if things would have changed or contributed to his growth if there was a female in his life._**

So without further adue this is my story. I apologize for any grammar, punctuation, spelling, and other possible mistakes I may have missed. I am avidly searching for a beta or friend to reread my chapters for this story but haven't struck gold anywhere yet. I'm hoping by posting a chapter I can get someone to sample read, and then agree to help me out. But until that happens- PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE... Be Patient. I have half of the story already written, but I don't want to post too much until I'm completely satisfied with it.

**_I don't want any readers to read this and think poorly about my writing, or my dedication to the story. I care and I want to show them that. So please, show me the same respect. If you have a bad/critic review- Bring it. I like them. They help me as a writer grow. If you have a positive/compliment review- please send them. It's always nice to see that people really like what I do write, and to be honest it gets me writing more._**

Enjoy.

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The feeling of a cold wet rag running across his forehead, pulled Merle Dixon from the deep state of sleep he was in. The first thing his grey-blue eyes laid on was a crystal beaded necklace that had a crucified Jesus hanging down close to his nose, next was the ample chest that the necklace fell from. _Who the hell was this bitch?_ He thought closing his eyes in pain as a pulsing pain bloomed in his right hand… _No…_ He didn't have a right hand anymore, he reminded himself opening his eyes again to see a young woman with long bright wavy ginger hair framing her slightly tan face. _Who the hell was she?_

The last thing he truly remembered was escaping from the roof top that Officer Friendly had cuffed him to. _God damn cop... When I find that piece of shit... I'll kill him._ He squeezed his eyes trying to think past the pain he relived by remembering cutting his hand off. Nothing. He had got off the roof, took care of his arm, and after that he couldn't remember shit. He was pulled from his memory chase when the cool wet rag touched his face again, wiping in slow smooth strokes. _Dumb bitch..._ He thought, _who the hell did she think she was touching him?_ He opened his eyes, watching her with dull interest as she moved away to wringed out the rag again.

"Who the fucking hell are you?"

The girl looked up in surprise, stilling her hands for a moment before quietly laughing, resuming what she had been doing, not answering him. She had lost track of how many times the old man had grunted the same question at her in the past week she cared for him. She figured he was still in a daze. When she had found him, he said the same six worded question. At the time she answered, but after he kept repeating it she didn't bother. By the looks of him, he had been through a lot. His skin was a mixture of red and pink from over exposure to the sun, lips dried out and chapping, and his right hand was missing. She assessed the new wound and winced. This was a bad injury, she concluded noting the markings of what looked to be like a tool saw.

She ended up doing her best to load him in her truck and continue to find shelter where she could nurse him back to help. About fifteen minuets later she found a secluded farm house, cleared it of the few walkers that were around it, and dragged the man out of the truck into the house. In a short week, she got his infection to start going away, the inflammation to reduce, and the bleeding to cease. She had done a good job getting his arm to start healing the proper way. She only hoped that and regular food and water was enough to pull him out of his dehydration coma. She sighed fishing the rag out, and pulled his arm to her only to have him pull it roughly from her.

"I said, 'Who the fucking hell are you?'!" he repeated.

"Oh um… Sorry I thought you were still out of it." She whispered, apologizing again looking up to his angry stare, biting her full lower lip. She placed her hands nervously on her lap. "I'm Amber." She said dumbly getting a less then impressed snort from the man."I… I sort of found you on the side of the road, and there was a herd coming so I picked you up and have been nursing you back to health for about a week." She informed him, moving her hair back behind her ear. _Dumb bitch... all she was doing was trying to get him wrapped around her finger so she could do whatever she god damn wanted with him._ He wasn't born yesterday, nor was he stupid.

"Fucking women... Why don't you dumb broads know your place? You're to cook for your man, get his beer when he wants one, suck his cock when wants, and fuck him when he demands it." He hissed impatiently. "I don't need your help. So get the hell away from me." Merle grunted, moving to sit up. Unfortunately, due to his blood loss and being asleep for so long, he was a bit off balance and ended up falling back onto the pillow that had been supporting his head.

Amber had worked hard not to get angry with this man. She had dealt with plenty of men insulting her, and protecting their male pride as she patched them up, but that was in Iraq! This man was just an pain old fucking asshole, and with each sexist slur he produced it licked the fuse to the bitch bomb until she had had enough. There was no more Miss. Nice Girl anymore. "Sure you don't." She replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes relieving a deep sigh. "Listen. You seem like the kind of guy that is manly and doesn't want a woman to help you, am I right? I think so." she began bringing her hands up clapping them together in front of her mouth in a sassy manner. "But let me tell you this." she smile, tilting her head to the side, leaning down to him.

Merle was stunned. This bitch had the audacity to talk to him in this sort of manner! No woman fucking talked to him in such a damn way. He hated to admit he was weak but it was apparent he was, so he let it rest. _But boy..._ If he was his normal self, he would have took the young girl over his knee, and taught her a lesson. _Manner-less bitch..._

"You're going to shut up, and sit still so I can fix your bandage. I'm not going to even bother finish up washing you, since you're being such an asshole but your are going to let me prop you up, feed you some broth, and your not going to fight me." Amber finished taking his right arm into her hand pulling it back to her lap, but he wasn't going to do anything she had said. He'd been _DAMNED_ if he listened to a mother fucking woman!

"Who the hell do you think you are? I don't listen to no mother fucking bitches-" Merle opened his mouth to say something else, and ended up yelling in pain as Amber pressed on his wound, showing him no mercy.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... And I don't listen to hicks." the red head sang sweetly, unwrapping his stub and poured a little bit of peroxide on it, a slur of loud sexist slurs filling the room now. Curtsy of Merle Dixon. Once that was done, she put on a creamy ointment to the freshly bleeding wound and wrapped it up nicely. The searing pain that had been shooting up his arm, dulled away.

After five minuets, Amber was finished with his stub and the stinging sensation was completely gone replaced by a warm numbing one that was pleasant. Merle narrowed his eyes at her, impressed that she wasn't grossed out by his missing hand, and tried to see a reason for it. _Mass Murder._ was his favorite that he had come up with. However when he saw the silver beaded chain around her neck, with a sliver plate that resembled a dog tag tucked away in her shirt, he frowned. _Military._

She moved closer to him, propping up a pillow from behind him. "Don't fight me." she reminded him, moving her hands to hook under his arms and cup his shoulders. _Definitely a military nurse..._ He noted to the all to familiar grip as she lifted him up. Her closeness brought their chests together, meshing for a moment while she assisted him to sitting up. Her breast were nice and soft. Just the way he liked them. Some girls in the military don't have any breast, and if they do most of the time they are small or hard.

"Take a deep breath…" she said into his ear, scooting him back to the pillow.

He turned his head to the side, looking at her as she moved to part from him. _She had green eyes…_ He noted with a lazy smirk playing along his dry lips. He moved into her bubble only to be shot down before he popped it. "No." She stated moving away from him, getting up in the process.

Merle groaned, in pain and frustration. _Fucking Whore... teasing him with her whispers in his ear and shit..._ He thought bitterly watching how she walked. _She had a set of hips..._ He observed. _The kind good for holding onto when fucking. Nice and wide with and thin waist on top supporting her nice sized tits. She was a good looking woman... _He thought. _Too bad she's a fucking bitch... _

He watched her small hands work to pour some steaming clear tinted yellow liquid into a bowl, recalling how she said "Broth" and cringed. He _wasn't_ eating that. He thought stubbornly as she made her way to him. _There was no mother fucking way he was going to eat some shit that looked like some god damn piss._

"Bring me a beer, and get that shit away from me." He told her shaking his head. But she didn't listen. She was good at not listening. She just sat down beside him, and played with the wide bowled spoon in the bowl. "Don't you fucking dare try feeding that to me." He warned her as she scooted closer to him leaning, her breast jiggling a little in the process rewarding him with the small show. Oh he would make her _kneel_ before him again, and he would be _feeding_ her.

"Didn't we agree you wouldn't fight with me?" Amber asked him impatiently, while grabbing a spoonful of the hearty soup, while he was distracted.

"No-" Merle began when she snuck the spoonful of the warm liquid into his mouth. His blood began to boil in time with his anger, but when he saw her smile, he calmed. _Why did she have to be attractive?_ He thought. _Why couldn't she be an ugly ass bitch he had no problem bossing around to have his way?_

"If you think you can feed yourself, I will leave you be." She said putting the spoon in the bowl, and Merle scoffed challenging her "Try me" stare when she looked back up to him. "I'm not going to sit here, and make you finish the whole bowl just like I have been doing for the fast week." She mutter looking down at the bowl, spooning up some more, before looking at him.

Merle extended his left hand to her and took the spoon she handed him carefully. Then she took the bowl and leaned across his legs to place the bowl on his left side. Merle smirked taking in the view of her beasts falling forward, and took another spoonful, _this girl was something else…_ He thought checking out her ass before she stood up again.

"I haven't bathed you, only rag washed your arms, legs and face. Basically what was uncovered-"

Merle scoffed, "Why never seen a real man naked before?" he asked roughly. "I'm not afraid to be naked." he told her with a mischievous smirk playing at his lips.

Amber crossed her arms over her chest leaving her weight onto her left hip allowing her right to raise up a bit with some attitude. If this was his attempt at flirting with her, he was sorely mistaken...

"I wouldn't have wanted you to think I was taking advantage of you when you were so vulnerable." She teased him.

Merle chuckled lowly. "I will bring you some warm water, and a few rags so you can wash yourself. When you've regained your strength I will assist you to the bathroom so you can take a better bath." She pulled out a pair of pajamas before his brain could process what she had said. _Bathroom? Bath?_

"Wait right there sugar tits." He said confused, ignoring her look that said she didn't approve of the nickname. "Bathroom? Where the hell are we?" he asked.

Amber nodded, she hadn't mentioned that to him had she? "I found a farm not to long after I found you, and it has a few gas running generators. So we have hot water, and electricity in the kitchen only. Saves gas."

"I couldn't carry you up the stairs to a room, so I left you in here, and slept in a chair to watch over you. Seeing that your awake now, I could help you up to a room, I suppose." She mumbled quietly hugging her clothes to her chest, wondering if that was such a good idea at the moment. She wondered if she punish his rude behavior by making him sleep on the floor one more night.

_A farm? Was this girl for real?_

"How old are you?" he asked.

"How old are you?" She glared.

"Come on don't be sassy with me, woman. Or I will get up and teach you a lesson, I don't fucking care how dizzy I get." he warned her as his hand twitched on his thigh.

"I'm almost 23." She told him, moving away to go and get up and get the bowl and rags for him so she could go and bathe herself.

"Almost 23…" Merle said to himself, before grabbing the bowl to just drink it down. That meant he had nothing to be ashamed about when he seduced the little girl. She was legal, and even if she wasn't he still do what he pleased to her.

"What's your name?" She asked walking towards the door.

"Merle... Merle Dixon."


	2. God is an Asshole

**A/N: _Well a better start for my story then expected! Hopefully this is just a sign that my work is getting better, and my proof reading even better! Thank you to those of you that reviewed, Favorite, and put on your watch list, that means a lot to me. Now without further interruptions a last thank you to my friend looking over my work my BlondeMistress and to my new beta, ReedusLover3. Thank you ladies. _**

**_Without your input I don't know how I would be able to post any new chapters!_**

**P.S:_ There will be a lot of God bashing in this chapter, but please don't take it to heart if you are of the Faith. _**

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It would be a lie to say that Merle and Amber got along much after their first encounter. In fact every day was pretty much the same thing with them. Amber would come to the room she had assisted Merle to, get a sexist slur, throw a comment back at him, and just like that a mini war was started between the two. Every single day was a battle but the two were growing more and more comfortable with it, or would at least tolerate each other to a certain point. It wasn't until Merle was back on his feet that things started to get worse. Merle was now making many sexual advances to her, and become more physical with their banters. He just didn't know when to stop, but that wasn't really anything he could help. It was how he was raised.

Merle had never met a woman that would refuse to have sex with him. He just knew how to find the right girls to seduce and get what he wanted. It was sort of therapeutic for him. Someone willing to take his pain away for a couple of minutes and whisper sweet nothings or rude sex slurs in his ears. He knew better then to believe any words the sluts told him, but when you have no one there telling you such things of how much they want you, need you, or love you... You just sort of latch on and don't let go.

He had been with all sorts of girls for many, many years and yet he was down right flabbergasted with this one. He tried sweet talking her, provoking her, and of course touching her just to show he knew what to do to make her feel damn good. But no. Oh no, would the fucking bitch just cave in and give him what he mother fucking wanted?!

To Merle's astonishment, Amber was a woman of her word. When she said she was going to do something, she did it. She was also a woman that knew how to control a man without using sexual means to get shit done. She had a sharp tongue, a vivid imagination, and a will so strong that he began to wonder when this sort of woman landed on Earth and if there were possibly others. Briefly did Merle embrace the thought that Amber might have been an homosexual, but that only ended badly.

"You think I'm a fucking rug muncher just because I won't sleep with you wrinkly old ass!" Amber exclaimed, dropping the box of supplies she had been carrying with her from the car, creating a loud crashing noise, while her mouth dropped in bewilderment. The nerve of this old fuck!

"Hell yeah!" Merle bellowed down to her after the short woman moved up close to him so they were nearly chest to chest. "You act like a dyke. You talk like a dyke." He said waving his good hand around before he narrowed his eyes in disgust. "Therefore you must be a mother fucking duke since you won't sleep with a real man!" He lashed out at her, but man oh man was he in the wrong.

"A man? Oh really?" She said slowly, placing her hands on her hips and pursed her plump pink lips at him like she always did. Merle was in for it and he knew it. When she started talking slower and in that cute prissy voice he knew he should just walk away but he didn't because he was a stubborn ass mule.

"A real man isn't a man who bashes on women, using every sexist slur they could possibly think of! A real man doesn't sexually assault her at ever given opportunity they think comes their mother fucking way! A real man opens doors for women, carries things so she won't have to, helps her even when she doesn't ask for it, treats her like his mother fucking Queen of the Nile but fucks her like his own personal whore, but... your a man?!" She scoffed shaking her head. "That doesn't sound at all like your stupid Red Neck ass! So fuck you! Take you uneducated hick ass away from me before I blow your fucking head off!" She snapped, stomping her foot in emphasis to show him how offended she really was by his accusation.

He really had never met a woman of her kind, but then again that only made the task of breaking her all more intriguing. That's right. He was going to break her, wither she liked it or not. That fiery spirit of hers was going to be crushed and she was going to be putty in his hands. It would take a while, that was a given but man, oh man... He was going to tame that _nasty_ little bitch.

Amber, pure and simple, could not stand Merle Dixon one bit. She had contemplated packing up her shit into the truck one night, vanishing to never to see him again. But she knew that. If she had, she would have spent every waking moment looking for him and wondering if he was alright. As much as she hated to admit it, she did care for Merle a little bit. Just not in a romantic or sexual kind of way. She wouldn't dare tell him though because he would take something innocent and corrupt it to his own will. She learned that much about him in the short amount of time that she had known him.

Another thing she had come to learn about Merle, was he wasn't so much a hard ass as he made himself out to be. He didn't realize it, but there was some good in him. Yes, Merle could be a good man without even trying, which surprised even her. He would do little things, say certain things, and well, act a certain way.

Merle smirked, approaching Amber's figure as she washed the dishes. He wasn't going to do anything to her that he hadn't done already... However he was going to see what would happen if he treated her on the nicer side. He moved his hands out to wrap around her middle, when she stabbed a knife into the counter. "Merle." She stated firmly sending the chills down his back.

She really had to stop saying his name like that! He thought moving to her anyway, wrapping his arms around her middle, startling Amber. She had thought he was going to be his usual self to her, but he had indeed surprised her. This wasn't one of his normal actions...

She opened her mouth to start questioning him, when he moved his mouth to her ear, his breath sending chills down her back and goosebumps to rise. She didn't want to admit it but he was turning her on. All he had to do was attack her neck and she would come unglued. She loved it when a man necked her from behind. She really did. However, rather then cave to her own weakness, she shook him off.

"Merle." she said again, this time giving him a look that set him back into the reality of what their relationship really was. He frowned.

"You know... I try to be kind and your still a frigged bitch." he stated angrily, crossing his arms across his chest.

Amber rolled her eyes as she turned back to the dishes that Merle refused to help with.

Although he was difficult, with a rare good side, she did notice it every once in a great while. One night in particular did she noticed something rather unusual. It was when she was praying at her bed side.

_She was on her knees, elbows propped on the bed and her hand entangled with her Rosary. She had just finished saying her Rosary prayer now about to start her evening prayers. She had begun with praying for the will to tolerate Merle, and confessing her sins for wanting to desert him as well as dismember him. Amber knew it was wrong to think so ill about one person, but hey she was human._

_A shadow fell across her body, making it much darker in the room then what she had been previously use to. She opened her eyes to see Merle standing at the end of her bed, watching her with an odd smirk, telling her silently that he was amused._

_"What are you doing?" he asked in a much softer tone._

_A miracle! A miracle had been born! Amber thought, amused that the all spiteful man could be relatively cool. The way he had asked her wasn't in his normal hurtful or mean way that he went about things. It was pure curiosity. She could tell he wasn't one for praying or God but still she answered him after closing her prayer._

_"Praying."_

_Merle scoffed, shaking his head. No shit, that was what she was doing! He thought bitterly and leaned onto the bed rail. "Ain't no God. So don't waste your breath." He grumbled, turning to walk away from her._

_"There is a god, and it's all based on you. God is different to every person, Merle. You could have a whole different god, then mine, even." She told him putting her beads back on around her neck._

_Merle looked at her, slightly confused. "What does that even mean? Like the Jehovah's, and Arab's shit?" He asked rolling his eyes._

_"Sort of." Amber nodded standing up and walking over to him. "You see... Not one person really sees the same way... which is why some people go to church and some don't go to church. When you enter a church, your open to the guidance's from a holy official. You could just be coming in to ask a question on how to pray for a certain situation." She began only to be interrupted._

_"You mean there's a wrong way to pray?" He mocked giving her a great deal of sass. That lead to her smacking his good arm and to him glaring down at her unappreciative, but then again whenever was he?_

_"No." Amber bit out. "There really isn't a wrong way to pray because that's your one on one with God. Your God. This might be confusing to you, which is why your lashing out at me. But I would be great full if you would leave me be to talk to god." she told him walking him out the door._

_"I thought you were done...Thought maybe I could get you to turn around while on your knees and give me a little something, something." he grunted still continuing to glare down at the shorter girl, but moved his hands, holding them up in prayer. "Amen." he teased._

_"Oh Merle... God is my love. I talk to him for hours... and he's the only one that can get me on my knees." She whispered, biting her lower lip in a suggestive manner before closing the door, and locking it. She covered her face in pure horror. She had stooped down to his level! Dammit! With that, she went back to praying this time asking for forgiveness._

Yup... Merle Dixon wasn't half as bad as he made himself to be. He was... Hurting. She had expected this much, but his resentment towards god, and unwilling to bend to at least see her view half way made her even more curious to get to know him more._ Maybe... just maybe.. he was a really nice guy?_

Amber now thought that, and was strongly determined to figure out a way so she could get to know him. The matter with that was, Merle was sure to make it difficult to get that close to him. However... She was willing to try and break through his walls by letting some of hers down. She only hoped that this would be for the good and not for the worst.

As expected, Merle made up for his curiosity for God and prayer techniques with more hurtful insults the next day, using her god talk as ammo to attack her with. He just didn't get how anyone believe there was someone out there waiting for their prayers or some stupid holy gate waiting for them at death. If that had been the case why didn't she just kill herself and meet God? He thought. She had an answer for that. Something about it being a sin, and that it was a selfish sin of hers and God would punish her for coming before her time by not allowing her to come through heaven's gates. Or so she believe.

What began to bother him more was how he was starting to thing more and more about god and her feelings. If there was a God he was a real shit for letting bad things happen to people. He was a bad man for not helping the innocents and watching them suffer. Why didn't any one ever think of their so precious God like that? He wondered bitterly. If God was so good to everyone, and always giving out guidance why didn't he ever extend a hand to him and his baby brother in their goddamn hour in need?

Why didn't that fucker strike down his father whenever he hit his little boys? Where was this all righteous bitch when things were so bad at home? What had he and Daryl done to deserve that kind of abuse and forever going neglect? How could someone just blow pass that kind of shit? Who was he to think he had so much power over everyone but not use it on those that desperately needed it?

He'd tell you. He'd tell you that there was no higher being. That this god, was just someone that people made up so they didn't feel guilty about the shit they did. There was no reason in the world children should be hurt and tossed around like a punching bag all the time. Lastly, he would tell you that if God was real... he was every person who saw him and his little brother walking around bruised up and bloody. Every single person who turned a blind eye to their situation, or poked fun at them. If you asked him, he would tell you that God...

Was an Asshole.

Yeah. Amber and Merle were two different peas in the same pod.

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**A/N:_Pardon the slander towards god in this chapter. I personally am Catholic and it was very hard to write some so vulgar but also rather easy since I know what most non-religious people think and why they don't want to be associated with a church. Please don't think ill of me for this. It's just part of the plot. _**


	3. Falling

It had been about a month and a half since Merle had met the ginger. Although the young girl was a hot head, she was going out of her way to learn how to tolerate him. You know making an actual effort to make their relationship easier on both of their parts. Merle had lessened up on his sexist slurs, and mean comments... _Hell!_ He hadn't change a mother fucking bit. He didn't see why he had to. She was changing for him already. Evening tempting fate by flirting with him on occasion. But still... She made it a point to remind him she wasn't going to sleep with him. But he wouldn't loose hope. He had a plan.

However until the day arrived for him he carried on with what he did best. He continued being lazy, ignoring more of what she had said then anything. He wasn't the type of man to take orders from a woman, but he was more then willing to watch her do the work around the house. _Man did she have a set of hips..._ She would walk around with a little sway to her hips, and kick to her step... She probably didn't even realize it, but she was a fucking tease. It didn't help when she wore shorts barely long enough to cover her bottom, or shirts that were nearly see through either.

He sat in the lazy boy recliner, watching her pull something out of a box looking around to find a good spot for it. In the process she ended up dropping a piece of the fixture she found and bent straight down. Her shorts tightened around the bottom swell of her ass cheeks, and showed off the heart shape bottom she had, causing his left hand to twitch. Good Lord did he want to just spank that ass and show her what he purpose was. Oh when he was done with her, she would be begging-

"Merle, can you help me with this?" Called Amber as she tried to hang up a light fixture in the living room, pulling him from his filthy thoughts for him to realize she wasn't bending over anymore. He frowned. _Dammit..._

"Woman," he grunted adjusting his pants, "you can do it by yourself. You're doing just fine on your own." He told her and looked at the water by his side. He wished he had some beer but no. Amber wouldn't go to town or let him go to town to look for any. Said he didn't need it.

Shit she know? He thought bitterly leaning back in the lazy boy chair as she looked around for something to stand on. See... That was the other thing about Amber that he liked. Aside from her hips... her breasts, and her waist... She was short. Like to the middle of his chest, and he was a pretty big guy. He could easily take her if he had both of his hands. But he didn't so... he wasn't too sure about that anymore.

Amber continued to look around before she just turned to him, frowning, and really looking pity and shit. "Merle, please your so much taller then me-" she began.

"Not my problem you're a short fat ass bitch." He stated matter of fact, looking up to watch her turn as red as a stop sigh. He chuckled giving her a mean smirk when she turned dropping the light fixture back into the box and walked into the kitchen. He sighed to himself, slowly getting up. Most be that time of the month or something because she was taking what he said to heart. She shouldn't though, he thought. She was a good looking woman after all but all women are the same. All are self-conscious and shit. However when she came back holding a bud light pressed to her lips taking a nice long sip of the alcohol, his started to singing a different tune.

"What the fuck!" He snapped moving quickly to her but she merely rose a finger singaling him to stop right where he was as she chugged down the entire container, crushing the can once it was empty. He couldn't believe she had just did that… She had a beer... and she didn't get him one?! He was pissed. "Where the fucks the booze?"

She replied with a long belch and smiled at him. "Oh well, I had found that one in town, and was going to give it to you. But then you started being an ass and I got really fucking thirsty." she said sigh as he walked up to her pushing her against the wall roughly, lowering down to her level.

"Bitch I ought'ah teach your fucking fat ass a lesson." He spat grabbing her chin. "If you're thirsty I can give you something thick and juicy." he stated annoyed and shook her by her chin. "Still thirsty, huh?" He asked her pressing his crotch into her hips.

Amber gasped shaking her head to get him to release her and ended up pushing him away angrily. There he goes again sexually assaulting her! She thought angrily before stepping towards him. He wanted to play rough well then, let's play rough!

"Do it. I dare you! Do it, if you have the fucking balls to!" She hissed and then smiled happily looking from him to his one hand. "Or… can your hand can do the trick…" she mocked.

"Little girl, you know better then to smart mouth off at me!" He snapped moving up against her, and she met him for his thrust.

"Last time I check I was a woman." she reminded him. "A woman that don't want to fuck an ignorant hick such as yourself." She whispered hurtfully up to him. "Didn't your momma ever raise you right?" she demanded.

Merle froze.

Amber saw the look on his face and suddenly regretted trying to pick a fight with him. "Merle I-" She began.

"Didn't your momma ever teach you to be respect towards others momma's?" he hissed shoving her back into the wall before walking outside.

He had given himself away. He showed her a weakness... He thought bitterly kicking the ground as he wondered how he was going to fix this. But truthfully... He loved his momma. He loved her to death. She was a good southern woman... trapped with a baby and a man because of him, and then because of Daryl. She was only with his daddy because they were born... but if she didn't have them... She would have ran away. He knew it. Just knew it.

She could have had a better life if he wasn't born... But instead... She became a drunk like his daddy, and killed herself while falling asleep smoking... Burning the house down with her. She loved him and Daryl... She did in the short time he had with her. Daryl probably didn't remember much about her. He thought frowning.

Amber frowned watching him from the kitchen window. She hadn't meant to strike out at him. He... He just had pushed her to her limit. God, that wasn't any excuse... She reminded her self going to the secret stash to pull out a beer before she went outside. She watched him kick at the dirt, and then look up at the sky. So Merle Dixon had a soft spot... She thought slowly approaching him. She touched his arm, and he whirled around to tell her off when he saw her with another can of beer.

However instead of cracking it open and drinking it for herself, she cracked the seal and handed the can to him. "Sorry." she said as he took the can. "I didn't mean to go and hurt your feelings and all... You... You just got me so damn fired up!" She told him narrowing her eyes at him. "So next time I ask for help and really need it... Why don't you just help and we won't have to experience this again!" She told him bitterly turning on her heel heading back to the house.

Yup, she was a smart ass bitch that was out to make his life a living fucking hell. Sure she nursed him back to health, but there wasn't any need to pay her back. It wasn't like he had asked for her help or anything. He was just… deeply asleep. He thought bitterly. The next time they fought was the next day when she was cooking in the kitchen.

"Sure smells good woman." he smiled looking down at her, before he slapped her ass and leaning into her with his hips. She stilled, her breathing shaky and he heard her swallow hard. He smirked cupping her hip with his hand and moved his hips against her again, before she shoved him away. He knew she didn't wanna admit that she like it when he came on to her, but see he already knew. So she was pretty much screwed now.

"Ain't none of it for you." She informed him, bitterly. Merle rose a brow, was that to fucking or to the food he wondered and was unimpressed with her lack of will to fight with him. He knew she affected by the hand slap, but she wasn't going to show it. But he knew. He knew.

"That's fine.…" He told her with a smile. "I'm hungry for a piece of that ass of yours, anyway." With that he grabbed a handful of her ass and gave the plump round piece a nice squeeze before moving away from the now blushing woman.

"Yeah? Well none of that is for you either." she spat covering herself until she had to turn around and continue cook which then she took to glancing over at him, not trusting he would stay still.

"Why not? I can show you a good time." Merle began confidently, and watched her shake her head, rolling her eyes. "I got a nice thick cock, and girl do I know how to use it." he chuckled moving towards her. Amber sensed his movement and turned back around to face him as he leaned on to the counter, caging her in. "Girl do I know how to use it." He whispered moving down to her. "We can go nice and slow, or nasty and fast. Whatever your style really. I'm a rather good fuck." he whispered watching how her eyes responded to everywhere he said. Her doe eyes faltered, pupils growing and shrinking with a hint of arousal, and her glance away became more frequent.

She was falling...

"You're old." She blurted out, and Merle winced taking a step back. _He wasn't old!_

"I'm young." She continued. "You're an ass. I'm not into asses. You're a fucking prick, and I'm simply not interested. No matter how well you can preform." she told him firmly but he wasn't sure if it was just for him. It sort of sounded like she was trying to convince herself of that. In all reality, Amber wouldn't mind having sex with someone now, even Merle for that matter. However she wasn't into Merle's bad attitude. She was totally against everything he said and did. So no matter how wonderful he was supposed, she wasn't going to cave to him.

"Oh come on that's the best kind of sex." Merle began finding new ground to maneuver on. "You're young and you don't know too much about sex, and I just so happen to know a lot about sex…." he smiled grabbing her hand and pulled her hand to his crotch. "Girl… I can make you scream and loose control. Let me show you." He told her squeezing her hand over his crotch, moving in to kiss her on the lips.

Amber was surprised by his sudden movement, and regretted not pulling away immediately. He was really good with his mouth, gentle and kind at first. His tongue more skilled as he coaxed her to respond by licking her lower lip and capturing the full lip with his teeth. She held in a moan, but her body decieved her reacting to his tease, by trembling. She had to stop him. So she hit below the belt pushing him away and shaking her head. "You see, I prefer my men with two... hands." She smirked baffeling him. "Do that again, and so help me… I'll chop your dick off." she warned him turning back to her food.

"One day... that excuse of yours isn't going to hold up as well as you think." Merle told her with smile, but decided to leave her alone for the day. He had his fill of play with her.


	4. Family

The stench in the air was getting stronger in the small town mot far away from the farm. Amber took note of the fact as she walked with Merle searching for some more supplies. The two had agreed that staying at the farm was probably the best thing that either of them could do since the world was still so uncertain. However summer was coming, and they were getting low on supplies, gas, and water. If they wanted to live out the summer without any big problems they were going to need more water, and definitely more gas at the very lease.

Amber had spotted a gas station not to far away and with her knowledge about gas stations and their back up generators, they were able to pump out gas into all 8 of their 1000 gallon containers and then some in smaller containers they had wiping out the gas station clean early in the morning. They dropped the gas off back at the farm, placing all the containers into the barn, and then returned to town. On the way back, Merle spotted a gardening store, and suggested Amber to go and get some of the stuff inside. Growing their own food would be pretty smart when the time came, he thought even thought Amber had no idea how to grow food like he thought she must have. None the less she went and did just that, as she planned to trick him into helping her even thought she found a few books on growing.

Amber looked to Merle walking out of the store, watching him go over to a truck before looking into the windows of the supermarket she hadn't been into yet out of the three months she had been at the farm. There was six stores in the area and she had made sure to take what she needed so that she could ration out the months that they were stranded, and leave some for the others if there were any. Looking inside, she smiled. There was practically a store full of food to look and decipher through. That was a good thing, as well as a bad thing. It meant no one was around them, alive not yet at least. But it also meant they could survive.

"Hey Sugar tits!" Merle called, with the sound of a rolling door catching her attention as well. To her disbelief, when she turned Merle had found a water truck you know the kind that patrolled the Suburbs with Arrowhead, or Spring water. "Think we have enough water?" he asked her with a smirk on his face.

Amber laughed. "Are the keys in the ignition?" she asked him, and walked towards him to check out the open space that could be of use when packing up things.

"Yup!" Merle moved out of the window and smiled. "If we move the water gallons into the bed of the truck, we can use the crates to put food and stuff inside them, or we could get rid of them, and have more space." He told her his idea, and then reached over slapping her ass. "Talk about luck!" he roared squeezing her ass rudely.

"Merle." she hissed slapping his hand off of her ass though a smile was on her face. She liked seeing him happy and he knew he felt good about finding something that they really needed. _He was so childish sometimes… but then again all men are._ She thought and then nodded her head to the store. "It's almost untouched, so lets get the water moved and then start loading up the truck." she suggested, which Merle agreed to.

It was almost night fall when the two of them were done unpacking the trucks back at the farm. Merle actually spent the time to help her with this, and Amber thanked him. She was praying that this was a sign that he was willing to start helping out but she didn't get her hopes up. There was no point in doing that since the man was as bipolar as a woman PMSing.

"Woman, make something to eat." he told her from the living room, plopping down into the lazy boy chair, and cracked open a beer. Best thing about helping her out in town, was that he could get as much booze as he wanted, and she couldn't stop him. It was a brilliant plan, he thought when Amber reappeared in front of him.

"If you don't come and help me make dinner, I'm just going to make broth." She warned him putting her hands on her hips. She just knew she shouldn't get her hopes up. She just _knew_ it. He was such a lazy bum relying on her for everything, because she fell for it. Oh but not tonight. Tonight he was going to follow through! It wasn't that she was going to complain, because she had no idea what kind of cook he really was it was just she wanted the company and she wasn't going to be the only one slaving away.

The idea of having broth, made Merle cringe. Sure... they didn't have a lot to go by in the making of food, but maybe just maybe they would be able to have something else rather then broth. He thought bitterly.

"Goddammit woman.…" Merle grumbled following her into the kitchen.

"Cut four carrots, please. Then some celery." Amber instructed as she prepped some meat they had found. It was still good, but not for long if not cook. She glanced at Merle wondering what kind of life he use to have before all of this when he surprised her.

"So you were in the military?" he asked.

Amber's eyes widen, her hand touching her dog tags before she nodded. "Yes. Right out of high school I enlisted." She said thinking about the sweat blood and tears of boot camp. "Every male in my family was in the military, and I always admired what my father and brothers did so I wanted to join." She told him, which made him nod out of respect. Sure he thought women should be some mere toy to please men when they wanted, but he respected her going into the service. It was a hard job. Mentally and physically.

"I was the first female to be in the military." She said proudly. She loved her family. Her mother and father were one of those couples that managed to stay together, and were going on year 34 in May. She had three brothers. Paul, Calvin, and James.

Paul was the wilder one out of the four. He went into the military just for the violence and kick ass figure he could have by constantly working out all the time. However he had a change of life when he lost his left leg serving his fourth year. Calvin was calmer, and was probably the brains out of the four. He could do hard math problems in his head. As in Calculus, graphing and the rest that is possible with math. It was odd because everyone else in the family pretty much failed at math. However... he died in Iraq when his squats site was bombed in a midnight raid. James... well... James was Amber's rock. They were literally only seven months apart with Amber being a premature baby. They enlisted together. They worked together. Everything majorly important in their lives... was together.

They were the only thing that made her life worth living at one time...

"So if you have a family and shit where are they?" he asked her rolling his eyes. _She was too damn happy. So what if she had a good family. Not everyone had that kind of shit…_ he thought bitterly looking over to her, and frowned.

"We.…We all got called into Atlanta. To help with the outbreak of the disease and to get control at the CDC center with all the people trying to go there for shelter." She whispered and wiped at her face turning away from him. She could still hear, feel, and smell it. The sea of emotions she had never dealt with was suddenly hitting her hard and she didn't want to talk about it. She wanted to suppress the memory and simply go back to cooking, but Merle wasn't about to let that happen.

"Come on… The story was getting good." he teased not realizing that she was going to have an emotional break down at any moment.

Amber pulled her self out of the memory she was revisiting, wiping at her face, and shaking her head. She didn't want to relive any part of that day but no... Merle had to be a noisy son of a bitch! She thought bitterly. His uncaring attitude was starting to piss her off. He didn't know shit. He didn't know what had happened to the most important piece of her life! GODDAMMIT!

He just didn't know when to stop did he?! She thought bitterly and then turned to face him. "I killed them!" She snapped narrowing her eyes at him. "No… no… they got bitten, an before they could become infected, I shot them. Then I ran…. I ran! I didn't even try and help them! I could have helped them! I could have.. I could have... I could have fed my self to the damn beast! I could have done something! I..." she snapped surprising Merle. He placed the knife down looking at her, before he started walking to her.

"I left my post… I left my post, and a herd came… I abandoned my family… If I had been there they'd still be alive! I could have done something, you stupid fucking asshole! Why... Why am I telling you this?! You don't fucking care! You're just a fucking pervert with no real heart... You don't care-" She said beginning to hyperventilate when Merle shook his head grabbing her shoulders and trying to shake some sense into her.

"Amber.…" Merle said frowning. He hadn't meant for her to suddenly fall apart… He hadn't thought that this would happen just by talking about being in the military. He knew how emotional it could be, but he had no idea how bad it was for her with her family being so involved. "Amber… Calm down…" he told her pulling her close to him.

It felt off to hold her. Maybe because there was some sort of emotional reason behind it… He stopped. He wasn't emotional. He was just trying to shut her up because he hated hearing people cry. However when Amber's hands grabbed at his shirt after hitting at him for a while, he knew that he need to put his pride aside. If there was one thing he knew, there was a time when women needed to just be held by a man, and by god he was a fucking man.

Amber sobbed into his chest holding onto him as if he was the only thing keeping her from falling off the face of the earth while the tears stained his shirt. She had never cried so much in her life, but that was probably why she couldn't stop and Merle… God… He was so nice to just hold her while she finished it out. But that didn't stop her crying though she wished she would. It was embarrassing to cry so much on or near someone.

Merle shook his head, bending down a bit to list her up and carry her bridal style out of the kitchen. He was just going to make dinner without her, he thought impatiently. She was just being… way too much for him. He couldn't handle it. Merle wasn't one for emotional women. He wanted to help her since it was his fault she had turned into a mess... but she was being way too much for him to handle. But just as he was about to put Amber in the chair, but something nagged at him not to. Something told him that he needed… that she needed someone to hold her…

So with a sigh, Merle sat in the lazy boy holding her in his arms while she cried herself to sleep. He knew he was going to regret this later, but looking down at Amber's vulnerable state made him have odd chest pains. He rose his hand to tenderly stroke her hair, hoping it was going to comfort her as much as he thought it would. Maybe.. Just maybe… he should try to get to know her a little better.


	5. Let's Make A Deal

**A/N:_ So I should far warn all my readers, that from this chapter forward, there will be more... sexual encounters. I had no thought to making this a clean story, because that just wouldn't fly with Merle. I'm posting a lot this weekend just because I've been really busy with work and kids and such. So I hope you enjoy this._**

**_P.S. It's getting rough... _**

* * *

After that night, Amber closed up a little. Merle had seen too much, and she didn't like that. No she didn't. Not one bit. Instead she took to lashing out at him, which Merle didn't like. Oh no he didn't like that shit, one bit.

"Just do the dishes! It's not that hard. You grab the sponge, put soap on it and clean the dishes till they're clean!" Amber said completely losing her shit. He was being stupid about not wanting to do anything that was classed as a woman's job in the 1950's. However this is the 21st century! Men did dishes! She didn't give two shits that their were monsters out side. For all she cared, she was tempted to throw him out to them!

She wasn't going to keep supporting his ass if he wasn't going to contribute to the work that needed to be done. Going to town once didn't give him the right to do as he pleased! All he did was sit and convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, pester her about sex, and make her life more trouble then he was worth! She shook her head as he looked up angry with her explanation on how to wash dishes, it was really insulting how little she thought of him.

"You think I don't know how to do them, bitch?!" he demanded crossing over to her. The stood side by side at the sink before he put hand into the dish water and began splashing her multiple times, causing her white shirt to quickly become transparent, revealing the blue and pink checker print bra she was wearing underneath.

She groaned shoving him with all her might as he continued to splash water on her. Merle used his stub arm to hold her back as she tried to unplug the sink. This was too much fun and he didn't want her to ruin it with her all too seriousness.

"I wouldn't know if you know! You won't do them!" She snapped.

Merle chuckled pushing his bigger frame to hers as she fought him. She was trying, but he was easily stronger then her. He merely laughed looking at her drenched state until she turned to leave him and do god knows what.

He watched her swaying hips as she made her way across the room, she needed to calm down, and get that stick out of her ass, he thought. Then with a smirk on his face, he went after her, grabbed a hand full of her firm ass, and give it a delicious squeeze. The sudden boldness of the move cause the younger girl to make a cute noise he had never heard come from her while she cover her bottom and turn to face him with cheeks redden in embarrassment. She was such a tease, but he knew that she wanted it. He could tell just by the way she looked at him. Women wanted him.

She was just testing the waters with him, he knew. She thought he didn't know, but he didn't. No one, no woman could pull the wool over his eyes when it came to how they worked. Amber was just one of many, and he was so close to cracking her. Today... he could just sense how good today was going to be.

"You…" She whispered looking for the right words, which pleased him. He took this moment to wrap his stub arm around her waist pulling her to him. As usual, she fought to get out of his arms and he teased her by reminding her she was no match for him. But then she puffed out her chest, and shouted, "You fucking prick!"

Merle glared at the angry woman before him, he was growing tired of her playing hard to get with him and shrugged his shoulders, he had been called worst before. "You're the one parading around like some slut." He told her referencing her shorts, and undershirt attire.

"Are you so weak minded that you can't keep your hands to yourself?" She demanded wiggling away from him and put her hands on her hips, flipping her damp hair behind her.

Weak minded?! Merle inhaled sharply, making a hissing noise as he took a step towards her, his hand shaking now to give her the rude spanking she was in for. "The worlds going to shit, bitch. A man's got to do what a mans got'tah do. You should be flattered that I would even think of you like that chubby." he hissed noticing her falter at the insult. Oh yeah, she was so self conscious about her figure, and he briefly wondered why before casting the thought aside.

It was men like Merle that she hated. They showed no amount of gratitude to those who go out of their way to help them, but no. It was all about them, and everyone else lived to serve them. Well no sir. She wasn't going to be ideal and let him push her around. He had been here for nearly three months now, and out of those months, he had only been up and moving around testing her limits, and figuring out how she ticked. Don't go thinking that it was a nice gesture, because it wasn't. He was a good for nothing, that she had wished she had never found! She had done her deed to help him, and now enough, was just that... enough. "Get your shit and leave." She told him angrily.

Merle shook his head and moved towards her in the small room, stopping her from leaving by putting all his weight onto his right forearm which was against the wall, caging her in while his left hand grabbed her chin lifting her to look up at him. "I'm not going anywhere." he told her firmly.

She thought he was just go to be a good boy, and listen to her? He was her elder! He was an out ranking officer to her! He was a man, and she was a woman! He wasn't going to do shit for the woman if he wasn't getting something in return. She wanted to play tough? Fine by him. He would be rough.

"Yes, you are. I want you gone!" She told him whimpering as he wrapped his hand around her throat. Merle wasn't going to hurt her just scare her a little. She thought and cupped his wide wrist, to move it away but he tightened his hand moving into her. All he was trying to do was show her who was really in charge, but he was sadly mistaken if he thought he was.

"You know… you've been a loud mouth bitch ever since I woke up." he told her waving his right arm around. Her breathing became shaky as he spoke, but he paid no attention to that as he loosened his hand around her throat and moved his hand down her chest to cup one of her breast. "You've teased me by dressing like a fucking slut! You've nagged at me! Woman... your lucky I'm here in your life! You're a crazy psycho bitch with family issues!" He hissed roughly squeezing her breast.

"Stop it-!" She begged moving her hands to his broad chest, desperately, to push him away when he lifted his right arm to replace his hand at her neck and pin her against the wall.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." he told her pulling her shirt down so that her bra cups were fully exposed. She froze trying to think of what to do when he looked up at her. "How about we make a deal…" he told her in a low voice. "If you agree, I'll do some chores around the farm, and we can live in peace. Ain't that what you want? Living in peace with some balance roles?" He asked her, receiving a frantic head nod while his hand rubbed the wet fabric slowly.

"Good girl." he said pulling the bra cup down without a further thought and was treated to the sight of a large plump bosom topped with a chocolate brown budded nipple. He gave a low whistle pinching the semi- hard bud, and looked up at her when she whimpered in fear but also in arousal.

Amber's eyes were squinted shut, face red, and her body trembled at his touch as much as she hated it. "Now…" he began. "Come on...look at me." He said calling for her complete undivided attention. "We need to talk about the deal, Sugar tits." He reminded her, and then chuckled seeing her green eyes turn to glare up at him.

"I want…. To have sex with you in return for doing chores." he told her with a start. "No fighting. No whining, and you do what I want when I want it. Only then will you get what you want. Understand?" He asked her.

Amber narrowed her eyes at him, but Merle knew that if she really hated this she would be in tears. He saw none. Perhaps she didn't think he was telling the truth? He thought keeping his eyes on hers while his hand moved down her stomach, and rested on the hem of her shorts.

He watched her eyes flutter close for a moment before raising his right arm up and over her head and leaned into her. "I can make this the most pleasurable experience that you have ever had if you'd let me." he whispered into her ear moving her hair away from her neck, and smiled. "Either way... I don't need you to be responsive..." He reminded her. He was going to do what he wanted.

Amber frowned turning away from his face, she had no idea how they had managed to escalate things this quickly but then again, she wasn't too sure if she didn't mind. That terrified her. Any normal person would fell scared but no... She felt hot for Merle. But none the less she did what she had to, to prevent anything from happening. A woman's got'tah do what a woman's got'tah do right? She thought.

She shoved him away from her, running to the stairs and up to the room she was in, locking the door behind her. She slumped against the door, covering herself back up and bit her lower lip when she heard Merle's boots hitting the floor loudly as he walked to her room. "Amber… Amber open the door." he grumbled jiggling the door knob only to find it was locked.

Fuck… He thought and rubbed the back of his neck thinking about what he had done, and her reaction. She was so into it a moment ago, why did she run off? He looked at the door asking for her to open the door but no such luck came. He sighed waiting when he finally heard her move but nothing else. He groaned grabbing a hold of the door knob roughly and basically broke it. He smirked opening the door and looked at her but saw she was none too happy. In fact, she slapped him hard across the face.

"How…. Dare…. You…." she whispered tears welling up in her eyes as she glared at him and shook in anger. Merle rubbed his cheek surprised. Tiny, but she could pack on an punch is she needed to. None the less this only made him more arousal.

He stepped towards her grabbing her roughly by the hair, and crushed his lips to hers. Her hands lifted to his chest, pushing him away, but her body curled up to him begging for attention. Her will had snapped. Merle tagged on her hair, a cry of pain mixed with a delighted moan coming from her throat as she endured the roughness of his kiss. She didn't want to like this, but with every lick of his tongue and pull of his teeth, she was falling.

After a moment, he released her allowing her to walk away from him. She was only going to fall on the bed behind her. She was watching what she was going, just trying to make sure where he was and he was going to follow her. They were going to have a little chat, he thought to himself kneeling on the side of her bed straddling her.

Amber rose a hand weakly to his chest, her chest heaving with each breath she took. She was scared. She was scared that she was making a mistake, and that she was a fool to have a small amount of feelings for this man. There needed to be distance between them... She had to keep some form of distance between them. "Stop it, Merle... Go away!" She told him looking around the room, but she had no where to go being trapped on the bed like he wanted. Her fighting gestures ceased as he laid all his weight on her and pressed a finger to her lips.

"Hush, hush." he whispered to her moving his hand to her hips, and pressed his hips down into her. Amber whimpered biting her lip, as her legs willingly parted and he lowered into her. "That's a good girl..." he whispered rolling his hips slowly to tease her.

"Look…" he began. "I'm going to get what I want one way or another." He reminded her. "So we can do this the hard and brutal way… or we can do this the nice and fun way. I'm up for either. The choice is yours. So what's it going to be." he asked her with a smirk trailing his hand up and down her hip.


	6. Deal

"Ooh Yes!"

The moan that filled the room was from Amber, while Merle's mouth sucked vigorously on the bud of her right tit and her left tit endured some deliciously intense squeezing from his rough hand. She twisted and rolled her hips up in anticipation up to his hips. He had been playing around with her after he had undressed her. She was willing... She had caved to him with a nervous nod, and although he wanted to just fuck her senseless he reigned in some self control. He wanted to give her a little bit to get her going, go nice and sweet at first until he got nasty with her.

Amber was no longer fighting him. She was accepting to this, and after a few kisses from Merle... she was naked, and he was back on top of her. She thought he would move quicker but he was taking his time torturing her young body. Her chest continued to rise and fall as he switched treatments to her breast. She was learning new things about herself as her began exploring her. She liked how his rough callused hand felt on her smooth skin, how his mouth kissed her neck, and collar bone.

She whimpered her hands holding tightly to his head when he lowered his left hand to her naked crotch and then back up to just under her belly button. Oh he was such a tease! She thought. She hadn't felt so moved, or passionate about what she wanted when it came to sexual things before. But everything he did made her question why she hadn't. The he dipped his finger into the slit, spreading the wetness that was growing around. Occasionally his finger brushed her clit causing her body to jump and tremble each time he did, but that was the extent he was going. She frowned arching her body up to him, weakly crying out and begging him to simply fuck her. "Please, oh please fuck me Merle… Please…"

Merle chuckled listening to her cries and shook his head at her in disappointment. "Oh, You slut… you cock hungry slut…" He grunted pushing his finger into her tight little opening only to he realize she wasn't really as slutty as he thought. Amber winced, his brute roughness causing an uncomfortable sting that resulted in her clenching around his finger, no long relaxed. She hissed grabbing at his hand to stop him but he bit her neck. A whimper left her parted lips, as her body curled inward moving her hand away from his and up to his face.

"If you want me to fuck you, don't you dare stop me." he hissed into her ear sending a wave of chills down her body.

"Please… gentle…" she whispered closing her legs around his hand. However it was a wasted effort, as Merle shook his head nudging her legs back open and then continued with his finger. He wouldn't do no such thing. He was going to do this shit his mother fucking way. If she didn't relax then that was her goddamn problem.

His fingering lasted until she quivered around his finger, relaxing a bit to his touch. Even though he was going to do it his way, he decided that he might want to go a bit easier with her especially since she was a virgin, and didn't know pip did-dally squat about the fucking she was really about to get. When he sensed her relax to one finger he shove in a second finger feeling his hard on throb painfully when she tensed up again.

Amber whimpered moving a hand to stop him but quickly retracted the hand when she saw the look on his face. Her legs trembled refusing to let her relax on her own. She hadn't expected this sort of pain to come from something so human. Then again, Merle's fingers were thicker then her slender ones so she was blind sided. He was helping her prepare for what was to come, but good lord was she going to scream she knew that much, and she sensed that he couldn't wait. She panted as she began to feel the warm bubbling sensation deep in her stomach while he flicked one finger one way and the other finger another way. The pleasure of his fingers pumping inside her was beginning to grow.

He started using a new technique causing her body to react in a different way ridding the pain she had once had. Her hormones were going crazy and her arousal had sky rocket to the point she thought she would come. She groaned in pleasure until suddenly his fingers were gone resting on her wet lips. She looked at him in surprise and was greeted by his grey-blue eyes looking down at her. "Merle…" she whimpered sadly moving her hips up to his hand.

Now out of all the times Merle had fucked around, he never did have a girl that was a virgin. In fact, he didn't know much about virgins aside from the fact in meant they aint never fucked before. He was sort of excited to take something so precious from a her, but also he thought about her being resistant. The fact she was a virgin was probably the reason behind that... However he would use this to his advantage, for sure. He hooked his hands under her legs, and pulled her down to his pulsating cock, sticking her in one swift thrust.

Amber's green eyes widen at the pain of him ripping through her, and placed her hands on his chest to push him away from her. Merle groaned wrapping his good arm around her lifting her up into his arms, moving his hips in a up and down motion while Amber continued to whimper and cry into the crook of his neck, trying to will herself to calm down. When Merle started moving faster, she had just managed to relax a little bit more but was now having to wrap her legs around him.

She adjusted to this, feeling a small sting in the mixture of pleasure, and tried to think of the pleasure in it. However it was when he moved into the chair next to the bed with her, she was back to square one. As he sat down, he slid deeper into her, her arms wrapping tighter around his neck trying to adjust to the depth that she was experiencing. Merle was starting to feel a bit bad to how he was treating her. So that was why he decided to give her a little control, so she could really enjoy it. Her arms relaxed as she slowly moved down on her own, moaning lowly with Merle who was enjoying the sweet tightness of her gloving him snuggly as she sat fully down on his lap. "Ready, Sugar?" he asked quietly when she pulled away from him.

Amber took a deep breath, adjusting to the too full feeling she was experiencing by gently rocking her hips before she nodded feeling her stomach tremble in anticipation as he began showing her the movements of this new position, and to his utter amazement, she began to moan anew tune. She gasped moving her hips on her own, and mewling sweet noises into his neck driving him insane. Sure most women liked what he did to them, but she was doing something different that was effecting him. He didn't like that. He slapped her ass, Amber arched away cry out loudly and shiver grabbing her tits and looked at him. "Yes…" she whispered, his brows shooting up in surprised.

"You nasty little slut…." he spat slapping her ass again, and began thrusting up into her again.

"Yes... A nasty little slut... A nasty little slut!" Amber gasped whimpering as she sat facing him, clinging to this man's arms, her nails now pinching the first few layers of skin on his shoulders, and drawing blood as her hips began moving briskly to meet the upward thrust of his. His free hand rested on her ass, occasionally gave it a rough slap that would cause her body to buck against his, and her mouth to stream lewd and libidinous words together to beg for more.

A ghostly smile played at his thin lips, while he moved his arms carefully to lift her up a little, standing up and resumed moving his hips more energetically. Amber's eyes rolled back as her hand cupped around his sweaty neck for support. No words could be produced for the pleasure she was feeling, gasping over and over again repositioning her slipping hands.

"Yes... Oh yes Merle... Oh! Fuck me... Fuck me!" Amber begged biting her lower lip as she hiccupped more sexually driven words. He groaned moving to the bed. "Alright little slut, almost finished…" he grunted spreading her legs wide enough to lean inside to help him deliver more powerful thrusts extracting even more passionate groans and whimpers from her.

The sound of his flesh slapping against her own was enough to cause more animalistic cries to arise from both as they grew closer and closer to their peaks. All thought was forgotten as he continued further assault. Amber's eyes shut tight at the tightness growing in her belly, and like a madman Merle cupped Amber's throat tightly distracting her from the consuming pleasure she was about to feel. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare fucking come yet! Don't you fucking dare, you little naughty bitch." he hissed licking the fire to her fuse sending her body into an quaking state, like nothing she had ever felt before, in his arms with his hungry eyes watched her body fight to regain control over the convulsion.

Merle chuckled withdrawing himself from her, and grabbed her chin roughly. He may be one hand short, but he could make a woman loose herself with his dick. "Remember…. You're mine. When I want… When I say I want… Where ever I want." he hissed pushing his softening cock back into his pants and then boxers zipping his pants up walking out of the room.

What was he thinking... He thought as he left the room to go and do some chores as she had requested. He had just... bargained with a woman for sex. He never did that... He looked back to the room at the top of the stairs, and wondered if she was alright.

Amber trembled, a frown on her red face. God… she was really a slut… She thought closing her eyes ashamed she enjoyed such a rough first fucking. Why did she feel like she had sold her soul to the Devil? She thought trying to sit up but the pain she felt was too much. It was going to take some times to adjust her body to walking. Merle was... was so different from what she had thought... He took his time... She smiled weakly at the thought.

_Remember... You're Mine._


	7. Something's Off

A man to his word, Merle kept up his end of the bargain they had came up with.

He was doing yard work, mending fences, doing dishes, and other things that needed to be done around the farm with some help here and there from Amber. She managed to plant a garden of vegetables, and grapes to test the soil, and had fixed up the barn with Merle so they could sleep out in it when it became too hot. Within the second week, the farm was really starting to look like a farm. She couldn't believe it as it really surprised her at first, Merle doing work and keeping his word. However she quickly realized that he also meant what he told her after the first night he demonstrated his willingness to help. For everything he did to help her out, she could guarantee that there was going to be a wild night to come.

Every night. Every position imaginable. Everywhere in the house. Out of the house. Doing things that would make her mother and father roll in their graves if they had one. Saying things that she wished she'd never say. It was a little ridiculous, but she couldn't resist him. It was their deal. Yet it didn't stop her from worrying, and trying to limit their sexual escapades a bit or persuade him to use protection. She was afraid of becoming pregnant with as much as they were doing but Merle attempted to reassure her that she could simply take the morning after pills he brought for her, and that wouldn't happen.

That started a whole new war.

"You want me… to take these pills… and kill my potential child?!" Amber shrieked throwing the box of pills at him.

"Well you're asking me to wear a damn rubber that causing me to just plain feel uncomfortable!" Merle retorted and then threw a box back at her. "Anit that against your religion and shit?" He demanded as Amber threw a shoe at him.

"I'd rather you wear a rubber then kill!" She snapped and ran into the hallway as he came after her.

She knew that throwing things was the wrong way to handle things with Merle but she was furious. She knew he was an asshole, but selfish to this extent wasn't even in her head. Partly because she didn't mind sleeping with him, it fixed things between them. Not just to get him working and helping out, but it kept her hormones in check as well. There was still fighting, but not as much. She was failing when it came to standing up against Merle. He made her weak.

Which was why running away from him was the worst thing she could do as he would, and always caught her. In one swift movement, Merle's arm wrapped around Amber's small waist and he dragged her back into the room away from the stairs despite all her kicking and screaming she gave. He threw her on the bed, and then quickly followed after. "No, I don't want you! Go away!" Amber fought angrily when he pulled on her hair.

"Listen here you little bitch… you're going to listen to me… once and for all…." He told her angrily and tugged again making her whimper. "I say when and where when it comes to sex… not you… You say when and where to the work around here…. So shut up." he said before brutally crashing his lips to hers.

It was sick, but Amber liked how he controlled her. Even with the issue of birth control.

Now Merle on the other hand…. He didn't like it.

Where was the fight? Where was the fire that this hell raising bitch once had?

The sex was alright but… she was changing. He could tell what was happening between them, and it was scaring him. Her body knew how to get a reaction from him, how to work around him, and how he worked in general. They were finishing each others statements randomly, as well as starting to think the same. If this wasn't the start of a relationship then he would admit he didn't know what it was. But… He was pretty certain that Amber was falling in love with him, and… he was falling in love with her.

He tried to prevent it by being rude to her, and leaving her after they spent the night together, but nothing was stopping what was happening between the two of them. He was starting to feel bad after he fought with her about anything. He wanted to hold her all the fucking time. He… He didn't mind so much the thought of having a kid with her though he was certain it was impossible with him being so old….However… That scared him.

She didn't know anything about him, or who he really was before all of this shit happened. All she knew was he was an older man, missing a hand, that was as stubborn as a mother fucking mule, that was a sexist, racist bastard. Everyone knew that about him… But… she didn't know how he grew up, how important the idea of a family was to him, or how terrified he was to let someone in…

With this sort of whirlpool of emotions, the sex they had became more and more aggressive, but also more frequent. It couldn't be prevented- or well it couldn't if they had wanted to stop anything. Amber was content with his controlling behavior and the sort of high she got from it, while he thrived off her submission. It was a balance... but... it needed to be fixed because that balance was quickly moving into their everyday life, and if it continued... Who knew what Merle would do...

* * *

**A/N: _Sorry for the short chapter. This is just a filler chapter that was once in one of my other chapters. The following chapters will be lengthy and... raunchy. Some hearts may be broken as well, and I expect some might hate me for what I have planned as well as my slow updating. Work, One Direction concert, and more work. Sorry ahead of time._**


	8. Dreaming and Hate

"Merle, can yah show me again how you skin 'em?" a small voice asks holding a squirrel by its tail. It was obviously dead, and the blue eye child looked proud to have caught it, but scared because he was asking to be reshowed something. It was odd, but Merle remembered that day…Yet… he was reliving the day all over again watching from the side.

All Daryl wanted was some help from his older brother and he… God he was a jack ass….

Younger Merle scoffed looking at his little brother, smoking a cigarette and shaking his head as he blew smoke into the young boys face. "Get outtah here, Daryl. I got a girl comin' over."

Daryl looked at the animal and then to his younger self. "Please Merle… I… I won't ask you again. It'll be real quick-" he said frantically and laid the squirrel down. "Please." he asked again.

Help him… Help him… Merle muttered but he knew it wasn't going to happen. He knew what he did, and it angered him. All he had to do was just… stop what he was doing and tell him how to skin that animal….

"Listen kid… You gotta learn how to live on your own. You gotta learn how to survive on your own. So get lost." Young Merle smirked looking up when a girl appeared flipping her blonde hair. "See yah." he said getting up and walking over to the girl, kissing her neck and doing other things to make her laugh as they walked away from Daryl.

Merle shook his head, what kind of brother was he? What kind of man does that to their baby brother?! He should have told that slut where she could take it, and help Daryl. He narrowed his eyes and began walking to his little brother, but when he did such his dream took a turn.

"Where am I!" A young Daryl stumbled around the woods looking for a sign or clue to where he was. This… This hadn't happened… Merle thought watching his brother stumble around the woods. He was cut and scrapped up trying to find his way back home, but he simply couldn't find it. Merle shook his head. He didn't get it… was he making this up?

It wasn't until Daryl found the back door to the house, and walked in, making himself a sandwich that Merle shook his head. He was the biggest fool ever… He thought bitterly when his younger self walked into the kitchen.

"Finally doing something right!" He laughed taking the sandwich Daryl was making and then scoffed. "Take a shower. You smell like shit…" he stated moving away from him.

Daryl watched Merle walk away with his sandwich, tears threatening to spill down his dirty cheeks, but he shook his head. "I'm not gunna cry… not for you… Never. You aren't nothing to me anymore, Merle…" the young kid whispered rubbing his nose and began to remake his sandwich before going up the rough stairs to take a shower.

Merle didn't want to see anymore. He knew he was a jackass so now he was done. He was he didn't want to deal with this anymore. But he wasn't so easily off the hook in fact, he now was dreaming of his brother riding a horse. He was yelling but he couldn't make out what he was calling out for but in the mist of it, Daryl lost his footing and began to fall down the cliff.

"Come on," Daryl growls to himself aloud, breathing hard, as he stopped his falling by grabbing onto a tree branch. He licked his lips looking down at the arrow he managed to get into his side. He shook his head, and Merle watched him hopefully. Come on, Baby Brother.. Pull your self up… come on… He thought as Daryl got himself a better grip. "You done half. Stop bein' such a pussy." With that he swung himself up, but it doesn't work. He's weak and he looses the hold on the branch he had and begins to slide down. Daryl desperately tries to hang on, to anything and everything but to no avail. He falls, farther than before with arrow lodged inside him going deeper.

Within seconds, he hits the ground water splashing around him. His eyes go wide for a moment, before rolling back and he's gone.

Merle's pale blue eyes widened. His baby brother… Was this… is this…. He shook his head. No. No! No! No! No! No! His baby brother wasn't going out like this! His baby brother was a fighter! He may not have been a good big brother figure but he did teach him to fight for his life. That was for god damn sure! He wasn't going out like this!

Merle positioned himself, as his brother's side and nudged him with his hand until Daryl's eyes fluttered open lazily. He could see the pain in his eyes, but he couldn't… He couldn't be soft with him now… He had to push him to get up and get moving. He had to make Daryl angry so he could save himself… He had to do something!

Amber turned in bed, feeling Merle nudge her side causing her to wake up slowly. She opened her eyes and was facing Merle in surprise. It was the first time in a while he had stayed after they fooled around. He usually just got up and left her alone and went to his own bed, but she didn't mind. He was warm… and having him close made her feel safe. God she was an idiot, but she had fallen in love with this beast of a man. She didn't mean to… It just… happened.

She saw the deep worry line on his face, and reached out to stroke his face when he began talking in his sleep. This also surprised her. Merle didn't dream too often… or well… he didn't talk in his sleep and she knew from the times she had found him asleep in the lazy boy. He just laid there completely asleep and occasionally snoring… other then that she had never seen anything else.

Merle looked at his brother, trying to figure out the best way to approach this sort of thing, before looking briefly to the arrow in his brothers side. "Why don't you pull that arrow out, dummy?" Merle suggests. "You could bind your wound better."

Daryl's eyes slide shut again, a smile breaking out over his face despite how much it hurt and caused his head to begin pounding hard. "Merle…" he says softly.

Merle smirks looking down at him and chuckles dryly before he shows Daryl that he is confused to what is going on with him at the moment by giving him a body check look. "What's goin' on here? You takin' a siesta or somethin'?"

"A shitty day, bro," Daryl slurs slowly moving his head.

Merle snorts shaking his head as well. He feels for his brother. Especially after watching him fall out of the tree. He knew he was having a shitty day. However… Shitty day or not, he had to keep moving. "Like me to get you a pillow? Maybe rub your feet?" He teased gently but rough enough to make Daryl a little pissy.

"Screw you."

Merle laughs and moves a little closer to him. Now was the time to provoke him. "Uh-uh, you're the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent try'na make a man of you, this what I get? Look atcha, lyin' in the dirt like a used rubber. You gonna die out here, little brother. And for what?" Merle asked seriously.

"Girl." Daryl's eyes open slightly as he thinks. Sophia… Sophia… He was doing this for her. He squints his eyes shuting them again against the sunlight peaking through the trees. "They lost their little girl."

"So you got a thing for little girls now?" Merle asks. He's beginning to see a change in his brother. He was turning into a good guy, out here risking his life for a little girl that was probably already dead.

"Shut up," Daryl says weakly but still with some bit. This was definitely Merle… Asshole Merle.

"'Cause I noticed you ain't out lookin' for ol' Merle no more," Merle says getting Daryl's blue eyes to open a little wider. He hit a chord. He could see it. No matter how much Daryl really hated him, he cared for his big brother… That made him proud. But also made him sick.

"Tried like hell to find you, bro," Daryl whispers sincerely. He had. He had searched but the walkers…

"Like hell you did," Merle laughed at him, though it hurt to do so. Get up little brother... "You split, man. Lit out first chance you got." He said roughly, blaming him like he always did. Calling him a weakling for giving up on his blood.

"You let out," Daryl corrected him, surprising Merle when he began standing up for his choices. Daryl was a man now... "All you had to do was wait. We went back for you, Rick and I. We did right by you."

The mere mention of Officer Friendly made Merle become a little upset. Why was Daryl so keen to him now? Didn't he remember who put him on that roof in Atlanta? Did he know? Didn't he know! "This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand?" Merle asks, amused. The reminder makes Daryl's eyes widen. His surrounding becoming clearer as he looks at Merle focusing on him as he floats into his awareness, his hand…his hand is still there. "That's who we talkin' 'bout here? You his bitch now?" Merle demanded now angry. Forgetting about getting him up and moving.

"I ain't nobody's bitch," Daryl insists softly.

"You're a joke is what you are," Merle says sharply. "Playin' errand boy to a buncha pansy-asses, niggers, and Democrats." He smiles unkindly. He was a fool to want to help his brother, but he cared about his blood. He cared about his brother more then his brother would ever know. So he would help him and be done. "You're nothin' but a freak to them. Redneck trash, 's all you are. Yeah, they're laughin' atcha 'hind your back. You know that, don'tcha? I got a little news for you, son! One'a these days they're gonna scrape you off their heels like you was dog shit."

Daryl's eyes slide shut unwillingly. He feels sick. He feels like he is floating. Merle shakes his head briefly seeing him slip away and claps him on the chest commandingly, bringing him back. He leaned into to Daryl once his eyes opened.

"Hey, they ain't your kin," Merle growls. "Your blood. Hell, if you had any nuts in that damn sack ah yours, you'd go back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me." He leans in and raises a hand to Daryl's face surprised because that hand no longer is there in reality. However he brushes it off. He's gotta wake this kid up. "Now you listen to me. Ain't nobody ever gonna care about you 'cept me, little brother." His fingers pat Daryl's cheek gently before grasping firm again. "Ain't nobody ever will." He told him, before he thought about Amber… He was right… no one would care about either of them. No one ever did…

He lets his face go and pats his chest again a little firmer this time while he stood up. "Come on. Get up on your feet before I hafta kick your teeth in. Let's go." He kicks Daryl's boot, jarring him, and reaches down to start pulling on his foot when he shoots up in bed, and sees Amber looking at him.

He narrows his eyes at her, but is confused when she places a hand on his chest. "You're alright, Merle…" she whispered moving her other hand to his face. Her touch is comforting, so sweet and caring but he doesn't want it. She doesn't really care about him. She is just playing around with him. Like every other whore in his fucking life. He shakes her off of him, and pushes her away from him.

"Get the hell off of me, woman." he grunts kicking his feet over the side of the bed.

Amber bites her lower lip, wanting to move closer to him. But she doesn't. He doesn't seem to want any physical touching from her. So she tries words.. Maybe if she could get him to talk about it, he would cool off. "You have a… ah… a Little brother?" she asks and he turns to her.

"What you say?" he demanded.

"You.. You were talking in your sleep… You said something about your little brother… and someone named Rick." She said realizing that this was probably not the best time for her to be talking to him about this. But she wanted to know more about him…

"You spying on me?" he asked harshly standing up, and she frowned looking down at her lap.

"Merle… I wasn't spying on you.. I care about you…" She said softly recalling what he had said moving over to him. "I do Merle… You may be an asshole… but…" she said touching his sides as she straightened onto her knees looking at him. "I.. I think I love you Merle… And I just want to know more about you…" she said softly looking up at him. Then she bit her lip seeing his eyes wavering to what she had said. "I really do…" She added feeling her heart beginning to race. She was telling the truth.

Merle looked at her in surprise, but something wasn't letting him fall for it. She couldn't be telling the truth. No one cared about ol' Merle not even his brother… his blood. Why would she even think that she loved him? He thought when she cupped his face, and kissed his lips softly, whispering sweet things to him, that made him feel good.

"Oh Merle… Oh Merle, I really do love you… I care about you, sweetheart…" She wrapped her arms around his neck, and it jarred him. He couldn't believe her! She was a liar! A bitch! A whore that was just for his pleasure. She was just saying shit to get him around her finger. But no sirrey. He wasn't a fool! He yanked her arms off of him, and pushed her away.

"I said get the hell off of me goddammit! Woman… I don't know what your playing at, but its pathetic." he hissed getting his clothes from the floor so he could get the hell out of here.

Amber felt her chest tighten as she scrambled off the bed and slammed her fists up into his back. "You're pathetic!" She hissed and then shook her head as he turned to her surprised. "Is it so bad to have someone say that they love you Merle fucking Dixon?!" She demanded continuing to hit him with her fists.

Merle shook his head grabbing her hands and twisted her around slamming her into the wall behind him. He shook the woman angrily, feeling his anger get the best of him. "Love? Love! Who the hell would want you to love them?! You're nothing but a nasty fucking slut wanting to just cling to whoever will let you. You're a coward, and let your family die so you could fucking live. Who would want someone like that, huh? Who wants to be with someone so selfish that she would let her family die?" He demanded causing Amber to stop fighting and stare up at him in horror.

"You. Are. A. Fuck. Toy." he said slowly and let go of her as she sank down to the floor immediately. He… He was.. Just saying that… She thought becoming numb to his words as tears fell down her face. "That's all you are… that's all you'll ever be… A nobody that killed her family and was an easy fucking…" He bit out before shaking his head. "Thinking that someone could possibly love such a selfish bitch like you…" he said softly before storming out of the room, slamming the broken door behind him.

Amber jolted at the slamming of the door, and her hand quickly raised to wipe the tears on her face as before she stared at the wide open door now. How could she… love such… a man…

She covered her mouth, as the tension in her chest is released by a contained sob. After that one spilled past her lips, it was hard to stop. Her chest heaved in pain, as she began to cry out feeling like her chest had literally been stepped on repeatedly. He had attacked her with her family's death, which he knew had bothered her. He had held her when she broke down to him about it! He held her, and soothed her! She hugged herself, folding into child's pose as she cried not seeing Merle look into the room having heard her begin crying.

He wasn't a man… How could he make her cry? He thought and then thought about moving in and apologizing to her when she said something softly that made him feel like he had been kicked in the chest.

"I… hate you… so much… I hate you… I hate you… I hate you…" she hiccupped into the floor.

Who was he kidding.. He didn't deserve her… He didn't deserve anyone. He turned away from the door and walked into his bed room rubbing the back of his neck ashamed to call himself a man in any shape and form. He was a horrible person. Amber had done… So much for him. She had saved him… Nursed him back to health… And fell in love with him in the process.

He closed his eyes listening to her cried until she became quiet. Once she was completely quiet, he walked back in and saw her, still in the position but this time, sleeping. He wanted to move her. He wanted to go in there and put her into the bed, but he knew he couldn't do that. He had to leave her alone. She was too good for him… He thought returning to his room.


	9. I'm Sorry, Amber

After that night, Amber didn't speak to Merle. Wouldn't even bother to look at him. She made dinner by herself. She made sure she was up hours early to finish all the chores that she wanted to get done, not giving Merle the option to help her. She cleaned the house up to the point that it was freaking Merle out. She just… isolated herself from him. So much that she slept in the barn…

Merle was feeling worst with each passing day. He missed Amber and he had ruined any chance he may have had with her. He had gone out to the barn to try and talk to her, but that only caused her to become upset and start crying herself to sleep. So he stopped going to the barn. He tried to talk to her when she was in the house, you know ask her if she wanted any help. But the only thing he got in return was a head shake. Nothing else.

When he tried to be rough with her like he had once had, she simply was dead in his arms. He shook his head walking up behind her, and caged her into the sink. "You know… I wish you'd talk to me, woman. It's unusual to not here you yapping away. Why are you so quiet…" he asked and she simply looked at him.

She didn't say anything. She just let him see the hurt and pain he had inflicted on her. She didn't want to be touched by him, or even be… around him. "Please…" she whispered in a soft sob, covering her mouth looking away from him, and trying to turn away from him but he wouldn't let her move. He wanted her to cry looking at him if she was going to cry. He deserved to see what he was doing to her… what he did to her.

Amber lowered her head, crying now. She didn't reach for him, or ask him to hold her. She didn't want to stand here crying. But she couldn't control it. The emotions and the tears just came in waves rocking her groundings and not allowing her to become settle. She loved Merle. She loved him so much, yet… she knew he was never going to respect her. She wasn't going to fight with him about this, and he wasn't going to fight for her. She knew that much as well. She took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, when Merle left the kitchen, and went out onto the porch. His sudden absence causing a new wave to hit her.

She was being over emotional about the whole thing… but then again… Merle couldn't blame her. He had kicked her around, and then took her love confession and shoved it back down her throat. He was her first… hell probably in every aspect aside sexual, and he had given her a lesson that would not be easily forgotten. He then thought about his baby brother.

Maybe… just maybe he wasn't meant to be around people… he thought bitterly. Maybe… Just maybe this was a sign, that he was suppose to be alone, and that he should just up and leave. He glance to the screen door hearing Amber's crying and kicked the ground. Hell! He would just leave! Enough pussy footing around! He thought, and turned back to the house. No… better yet. He should wait until she was asleep for the night, and then leave. That way he didn't bother her… he thought.

When she went up stairs to freshen up, he went inside and looked in the cupboard before filling a small box with some supplies and then hid it under the couch. He didn't need to tell her. It wouldn't do any good. He thought to himself and then looked at her as she came down the stairs. He snorted annoyed, she had went back to ignoring him.

Fuck it… He thought bitterly. But boy… was he in for a surprise.

"Hey!" Merle snapped as Amber shoved herself away from the table and ran into the kitchen putting her head into the sink, throwing up whatever she had eaten that day. He looked at her in surprised, his pale blue eyes widening in fear as everything began to click together in his head. The over emotional acts, the crying over every little thing, the constant food making, the throwing up… He shook his head.

He had to leave now. There was no way he could take care of a kid. _Shit…_ Amber was pregnant and he knew it. She refused to take the pills. He refused to use a condom. There was no way preventing it. God… he was an old fucker! How did he knock her up?! He thought running a hand over his head, walking into the dinning room.

He was going to screw that kid up… That kid would be better off without him being in his life… He told himself as he heard Amber turn the water on and clean the sink up and then walked upstairs closing the door behind her when she got to the bathroom.

Merle sat down at the dinner table looking at the house from his chair taking it all in. He wasn't no father figure… Hell he shouldn't even be allowed to have kids… He thought bitterly and then looked to the couch. He had to leave. Amber was a strong woman… and if she loved him as much as she said she did… She could take care of his kid enough to be both their mother and father.

So with that in his mind, he stayed the few days as the season changed from summer to fall and when Amber was asleep, he left. He took one of the cars he had found during the few days when he went with her to town, and packed up some supplies and gas. He didn't turn around, or stop when Amber came rushing out to stop him after hearing his truck rattle to life. He just kept going. It was for the best.


	10. Thoughts

It had been a week since Merle left the farm, and Amber was sure she was going to loose it. The orange cup of water Amber had poured for herself sat on the table encased by her hands, but untouched and still. Her tear swollen eyes stared down at the water, tears slowly moving down her face and falling around the cup onto the oak table, sometimes rippling the water but she didn't move. She stayed sitting in the chair at the kitchen table everyday since Merle left. Aside from eating, sleeping, and bathing, she pretty much lost it by being alone, and not doing anything.

She contemplated leaving and searching for him, leaving in general and suicide, but she knew she couldn't do that. She had to stay here and maybe god would send him back to her, and they could make amends. She wanted to clear it all up. She loved him, but she was hurt, and yes... She handled it the wrong way. She was wrong she knew it... but how would she ever tell him that? He was gone.

The tears began to come faster down her face thinking about Merle's leaving. It just didn't make any sense…. He was fine, working around her, and occasionally they talked but nothing about what had happened between the two of them. It was always about him and his sexual needs, and although she wanted to be with him, and have him hold her… She didn't. But that didn't mean he had to leave!

Her hand slammed on the table as she shook her head looking up before moving away from the table walking out on to the porch. She hugged herself while thinking about it all, trying to see away into why he would up and leave. That was when the suicide thought came back to her mind. The world was going to shit, she never knew what might next happened, or if a herd was coming her way. Death was beginning to seem better and better, no matter how selfish she had once thought it was.

She bit her lip looking out over the hills that surrounded the farm, when she remembered something. She wished she hadn't remembered this because she knew now, that no matter how much she felt alone. Suicide wasn't going to happen. Ever.

_"Carmichael…. Carmichael! We have a trauma coming in. We've called for a chopper but it's going to be about half an hour until the reach us, so you'll need to do your best to keep him stable!" Said a white male covered in blood walking into the medical tent._

_Amber looked up from her medical inventory list and quickly pulled out a pair of gloves as the unit carried in a man on a make shift gurney. Her eyes widen in surprised seeing the man's critical condition. He was missing his right arm from about the middle of his arm down. The ball and socket of the joint was there, but the small stub was gazed and tend to. His right leg was gone from the knee down, and his left leg was completely bloody. Yes, she had seen worst, but this… This was the worst she had seen in a few weeks._

_"What the hell happened?!" She demanded looking at all of the men walking into her tent, it was then her brain shut off to reality and turned on to all of her training she had. She shook her head as she got her kit reminding herself to grab a few rags and to get a bowl of water ready._

_"We were walking out by the second hill about 100 yards away from our base. Lopez wanted to take a picture for his family to send home with the next mail send off, and went to pose next to the hill. However as he ran to it, he stopped seeing it was a mine field but something from his nap sack fell and set off a couple bombs..." Said a man to her left. _

_Mine Field? Shit! She thought bitterly, before sending them to conceal the area so no one else got hurt. She looked at all of Andrew Lopez's wounds, and quickly began to clean him up as best as she could so she could start patching him up as best as she could. She began to get thread and a needle to stitch up a few area's when he stopped her._

_"Carmichael… No… Please Amber stop." he whispered and then looked at her weakly. "Don't waste your supplies… I'm gunna die anyway." He was giving up, and that wasn't like himself. He was a fighter. He was the one that would run out in the middle of a fight, and do what needed to be done so that everyone else to live. He was the one that told her not to sell herself short. _

_Amber narrowed her eyes at him, fighting the tears that were threatening to come forward. She had to save his life. He deserved that. He deserved to be alive, and go home with at least an honorable discharge!_

_"Not on my fucking watch!" She hissed as she desperately attempted to clean up some of his wounds so she was able to begin stitching him up but he continue to tell her to stop and leave him be. However she wasn't allowed to do that. She couldn't. He had done so much for her. Almost like a brother. _

_When others were pressuring her, and pushing her to keep true to herself when the guys tried to seduce her into sexual actions and she was going to cave. He was always there reminding her, they weren't worth it. They were just looking for something to take the edge off... That she had to wait for the right one since she had waited this long. He was always taking care of her... She had to take care of him! She just had to! However__ it wasn't until she had moved over to his right hand, that he caught her hand and stopped her._

_"Please… Please Amber…" he whispered looking at her with the saddest look she had ever seen. She could tell by the look in his blue eyes that he really serious about her stopping. "I've….I've lost too much blood. Just… let me go…"_

_"That's... That's like suicide, Andrew!" Amber said annoyed shaking her head and pulled away from his touch, but he insisted._

_"No…No… I'm allowing myself to go…. God… God led me to that mine…he wants me…. He wants me Amber." He said and then looked up at the ceiling of the tent. "He wants me…" He whispered grabbing the rosary around his neck that he, like her, kept hidden under his uniform._

_Amber shook her head, standing up and looking down at him. She pushed her bangs out of her face and then sighed. "What about Rachel? What about little Abigail and Peter? They want you!" She reminded him. "They want you to come home, even if you are hurt. They want you home." she whispered cleaning his face._

_"No… No… God wants me… He'll take care of them for me.. I'll be able to watch over them… I have to go…" he whispered shaking his head. "I've seen this coming… I have… God.. God's told me he was going to take me soon… God tells you things… He gives you things… He takes… but he gives…What is my life if I'm sitting around... wasting away as I re-await my death?" he whispered giving her a weak smile._

_Amber frowned listening to him and silently agreed to give him his dying wish. Then just like that, he was gone._

God gives and takes… she thought sadly, and then bit her lip. God took her family to a better place rather then let them live through this world. Then…He gave her Merle, and took him away. What was he going to give her now?! She thought bitterly covering her face.

Her answer came to her a few days later in two pink lines. She looked at the pregnancy test and shook her head this was God's little surprise came giving her a slap to the face. She was pregnant. Leaving the farm was out of the question unless it was life or death. She had to think about the child she was going to be providing for now. That… piece of Merle and her that she was going to have soon…

She shook her head again, before she looked to the farm. She needed to get back to who she once was. Where had her fight, and fiery side gone? She thought as she went off the porch and grabbed a hoe. She needed to get the farm back in order and get herself back.


	11. New Faces On The Farm

Fall came and went slowly.

Winter came and went faster then Fall.

Then Spring… was finally here. With each day that came and went, was a struggle full of nightmares, and horrible scares she realized she was going to have to deal with sooner then she'd like. Like, how was she going to deliver a baby? How was she… by herself going to deliver a baby? She had no idea how to go about that! There was no books that she could find on the manner, nor did the internet exist so she couldn't look it up. She was going to have to figure something out though…

Then to her lovely surprise, she came across a baby store when traveling around for more supplies. It was a small store, but it had some things she was sure she would need like formula, clothes, blankets, a crib, a car seat, a bath thing, and so much more including books. It was like finding water in the middle of the desert! However all the happiness she had found quickly evaporated, when she arrived home, and found three cars outside her farm and a few men looking for a way in since she had locked the doors. She parked yelling out at someone as he moved to break one of her windows.

"HEY! THAT'S MY HOUSE!" she called out getting out of the car and seeing all of them turn and a few women raise a gun on her until she slammed her door close. When they saw how pregnant she was, they lowered their weapons. "I mean it! Get off of my porch! Now!" She said grabbing a gun and walked out onto the porch as they moved away.

"Lower you crossbow! Lower it!" she snapped at one guy until a taller man wearing a hat like he was some sheriff. She lowered her gun as the taller man spoke.

"Ma'am… we're not looking to cause any trouble…. Just looking for some shelter for our group." he told her softly and took a step forward however when she clicked the gun into a loaded state, he froze. "Is… Is your husband around? Perhaps we can talk with him, and you about this?"

"Husband? Who says I have a husband? Huh? Just because I'm pregnant you think I'm married?" She laughed sarcastically but really it hurt to say any piece of that. She wished she could've called Merle her husband… but that was never going to happen… Ever. But what was going to happen… Scared her. Her eyes widen she felt a slight sensation deep her belly, before a light gush of water spilled down her legs darkening her jean legs.

"Oh… Miss… Oh my…" The man said and turned. "Hershel!" He called and an older man slowly got out of the truck followed by two younger girls.

"No…. No… I will… I will have this baby on my own." she said stubbornly and placed a hand on her stomach gently feeling a sensation like… somersaults inside of her before a deep pain that nearly sent her to her knees when the man with a cross bow grabbed her holding her up. "Oh my god…" she whispered as he frowned looking around for guidance.

"Get her inside Daryl." said the older man, and then looked at the man previously talking to her. "Rick… go to her truck and see if there is something in there that will help with this, maybe she got some supplies…" he said.

"Do… Do you have the keys?" Daryl asked Amber holding her up as she panted and squeezed his tightly worked forearms. She nodded her head wishing she could close her legs, and tell her body to just wait, but there was no chance of that happening. Instead she whispered about the key's being in her pocket, and allowed the man to carry her inside to the living room.

Soon after he laid her down Hershel, the two girls, and another woman with brown hair arrived. She shook her head though when the man tried to leave her. "No, no, no, no! You stay here! Please… Please stay here!" She begged squeezing his hand as her contractions came.

Daryl confused, in pain, and still finding no sense of guidance stayed put partly because he couldn't move away from her. He let her squeeze his hand, and tried to coax her into being calm and still… But then to his shock she began saying things that made him want to question her.

"Oh shut up… Please shut up! I hate men! I hate all men! I hate you… I hate you! And you! Oh how I hate men! I hate you Merle fucking Dixon! I hate you, you fucking coward!" She wept and tried to breath deeply. Daryl's eyes widen in surprise. She knew Merle? Was... Was he going to be showing up any time soon? How was his arm? He had so many questions but she was in no state to tell him anything sadly. He thought and then nodded deciding it was best to just get through this before he asked her questions it was only fair he thought.

Amber didn't mind when Hershel pulled her pants off and began to coach her into a breathing pattern that soon was picked up by the man that brought her in the house. She listened and did as best as she could in between contractions but it was distracting and hard to do it all. Breath, concentrate, and push. Even Hershel was surprised how fast her labor was moving, but with Daryl's help, and Hershel's coaching a baby was born within half an hour. A little baby girl.

Amber weakly looked at the man holding her crying baby and smiled. She looked back at Daryl, but she only say his blue eyes… Merle's blue eyes… Then she heard his voice.

"You did it… You did it…" Daryl said smiling as he looked at the little girl.

"We did it Merle…" she whispered back sleepily, catching him off guard as she slipped into a state of unconsciousness.

No, no, no! Daryl thought looking to Hershel who passed the baby to his daughter Maggie to have her go and clean her up before moving to Amber's side, and assess her. He had just found someone who knew something about his brother… Someone who gave him hope… and… He looked at the little girl crying her heart out, and felt a tear trickle down his face. Someone who was family…

He turned back to Amber, and was told by Hershel that she was only asleep but that she would need to be watched just in case. The news gave him a sense of relief. Soon he could talk to her about his brother. Soon… He thought before turning to see Maggie offering him a dressed and swaddled little girl, but first he was going to hold that little girl.

**_A/N: A Twist? Yes! But planned from the beginning! What will happen now hmm? Oh just wait and see._ **


	12. Daryl Dixon

**A/N: Well I have decided to put this on hold. End it here and maybe come back to it at a later date. Like a sequel or something of that crazy nature. It's just. It becomes rather depressing when you write something you care so much about but no one seems to appreciate it, and you simply have no more energy to put into the story. So this is where it will end, and when I come across some inspiration to write the sequel I shall. Thank you to all of you who have read this. Thank you indeed. I just feel that this is a good ending that can lead to a new story.**

* * *

Amber weakly opened her eyes a little bit after she had moved to a bed and rested. However after she was awake for about five seconds, and saw the man with the blue eyes watching her, but didn't see her baby a panic over came her. She scanned the small room she was in, but when she didn't see so much as a crib, her chest became heavy, and her breath hitched in the back of her throat. "My baby…" she said looking around.

Daryl heard her quiet plead, and turned to face her. Even though she looked like she had been hit by a truck, she was still unearthly beautiful. However, aside from that he saw the panic building in her eyes and quickly exited the room and went into the room where the baby laid in the crib he assembled with Rick. He picked up the sleeping baby carefully, held her close to his body before grabbing a blanket and walked back to the room Amber was in. The sight of the baby, comforted Amber from getting completely out of bed, and with Daryl's help she got back into bed.

"She went right to sleep after she was dressed and swaddled… so I imagine she'll be really hungry…" he said softly handing her the little bundle. He chuckled seeing her struggle to hold the little one, and coached her into the most comfortable position to hold a baby. "There you go… Just… kind of let the baby head rest in the crook of your arm… and then pull your arm a bit closer into your body. There you go…" he smirked as the baby began to move and become reckless.

Soon she was crying and, Amber looked up at Daryl startled. "Wait… what… why is she crying…" she whispered and sat up more attempting to look around the baby for the source of the crying.

"She's probably hungry…" he reminded her.

Amber nodded and moved her shirt around, but it only managed to get tangled between the baby, and her so she ended up asking Daryl for help. He honestly couldn't believe this. She was asking him to take her shirt off… Not even two hours ago she was pointing a shot gun at his face, and no she was asking him to de-robe her? He blushed a little, biting his lower lip, and looked up moving the shirt away for her and then covered her up with a blanket. He wasn't coaching her on breast feeding… That was where he drew the line.

To his surprise, she didn't need coaching there and successfully managed to get the baby to stop crying and begin eating. The room was quiet, and he was beginning to feel slightly out of place in the room until she spoke.

"She has curly hair… and it's so long…" she whispered touching the baby's hair gently. "She's…She's so tiny…" she said smiling.

He shuffled on his feet awkwardly, placing his hands into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders. "Have you... Ah thought of a name for her?" he asked curiously licking his lips nervously.

"No…" Amber said looking at him. She hadn't thought of any girl names… she just assumed it would be a boy and she could name him after his father. But nothing… No girl names. "I… I just assumed that she was going to be a boy… and I would just make her a junior…" she whispered.

"Junior?" he said softly and bit his lip. "What… What was her dad's name?" he asked her curiously and then sat down on the chair next to her bed. Maybe now he would get some answers… He thought.

"Merle… Merle Dixon…" She whispered softly stroking the baby's soft skin. "I found him while driving. He lost a lot of blood, was missing a hand, and dehydrated…" She said looking at him, "But I took care of him… made sure he was safe, eating, getting plenty of water until he woke up." She shook her head. "When he woke up… he was a complete asshole to me." She said causing Daryl to smile. That was Merle.

"It was hard at first… I hated him. He was always sexually driven, and I didn't want anything of a sort. It wasn't until one day I got all caught up in it… Then our hate became love in my eyes… I told him I loved him and he rebelled." She told him everything, and he wasn't sure why but he appreciated it. He wasn't sure if now was the best time to tell her about him being Merle's younger brother but… There wouldn't ever be a better time. He thought clearing his throat.

"Merle is my older brother." He said it softly, but he was sure she heard him.

Amber turned to look at him, and frowned. Brother… This.. This was Daryl? "Daryl?" She asked hopefully and he smirked. So Merle has talked about me. He thought happily, and nodded his head as she smiled brightly.

"I… Oh my!" She laughed shaking her head. "I… My name's Amber…" She said softly as the baby cried softly from her being a little loud.

"Nice to meet you… So what to name little Dixon…" he said briefly looking at the little girl.

Amber thought for a moment, trying to think of a name that Merle might have liked, and then looked at Daryl. "What was your mother's name? Merle… Merle never talked about anything outside our relationship… But I hit a sensitive note when talking about his mother in a joke…" She said softly.

Daryl frowned looking down at his feet. "Her name was LeeAnn Marigold Dixon." He told her softly. He didn't know her as well as Merle, but Amber was right. Their mother was the only woman that Merle seemed to ever respect. Ever.

"Marigold….Marigold Dixon." Amber said softly looking down at the little girl. "How about Marigold LeeAnn Dixon? Just a little twist…" She suggested looking at Daryl who nodded. LeeAnn Marigold he wasn't much a fan of but Marigold LeeAnn… That sounded like the perfect name for his niece.

"Hey…" a woman with short brown hair appeared and then stopped looking at Amber. "Oh… I'm sorry I didn't know you had woken up." She said softly and then smiled looking at the little girl in her arms. "I see you've got the whole mom thing down." She crossed her arms walking in the room more. "I'm Maggie."

Amber smirked looking at Daryl. "Amber and no… Not at all… Daryl taught me the basics though. Holding… feeding…" she laughed and then looked down at the little girl.

"Do you know how to swaddle? Change diapers? The works?" She asked curiously, but by the deepening scary look on Amber's face as she began to list things out, she knew the answer. "I'll help you. Don't worry… Plus… Daryl here will be more then glad to help you as well with him… yeah…" She said looking at him and then her unsure.

"With him being the uncle?" Amber asked and watched her release a breath. "Yeah we already talked about all that…" She smiled.

"How about a name for the little cutie?"

"Marigold." Amber answered and moved the baby away from her breast and cradled her close to her body.

"Marigold… That's lovely." Maggie smiled and then looked at Daryl. "Marigold Dixon… It's about time something soft and sweet was brought to the Dixon name." She teased and caused everyone to laugh happily.

"Well I came up here to tell you we made dinner, and I made a side of soup for you because I wasn't so sure how much you would be up to eating…" Maggie informed them looking at Amber lastly.

"Soup sounds fine." Amber said softly looking at Daryl.

To anyone that walked into the room, Amber and Daryl looked like new parents. Blissfully happy, and tired. But Maggie knew better, Daryl was a good man. However she didn't see him wanting to be with the woman who had just had his niece… his brother's child. Instead she could see them working together to look for Merle… Maggie smiled walking out of the room looking at them her smile fading. Then again… She had never seen Daryl look at a woman the way he looked at Amber… And she didn't think it was the baby's doing.


End file.
